Being a Sugar Baby isn’t something that I’ve talked about much, but as I was inspired from a recent article that I read (photos below), I thought that now may be the time.
I used to be a Sugar Baby.
No, it’s not glamorous. No, it won’t make you rich. No, it won’t make you beautiful.
But, for me, it was a means to an end. Sure, some say that it was what made them successful. Well, maybe I wasn’t pretty enough. Instead, I became resented, envied, looked down upon, and down-right hated for it. Now, for you, it may be different. You may be loved, looked up to, envied, and inspiring. But, for me, that just wasn’t the case.
Now, everyone’s circumstances are different. If you feel that it’s right for you, go for it. Just realize the possible consequences. However, my story goes something like this:
Five years ago, I was in a financial pinch. My daughter was just one year old. I had recently separated from her father. I was a young, single mom living in my mother’s house and living off my family’s dime with no job and no education.
I met a man who was a well-known Professor at a very, very prestigious University. I spent the summer with him in exchange for financial assistance. The details of our relationship, I’ll keep private, as they are all different in some way. They each, however, all come down to the same negotiation: time=money. Whatever you choose to do during your time is your business.
Now, we’ll fast-forward four years. I’ve been a Sugar Baby now for that long. It’s made and broken some relationships. I am now better educated and employed. During my few, but genuine attempts to date, some men couldn’t fathom my “employment”, let alone even begin to understand it. So, in time, I withdrew from dating all together. I truly thought that I was better off alone. I spent many nights hating who I was, but I spent far more learning to accept myself and learning from my mistakes.
It wasn’t until meeting my Fiance that I remembered what it was like truly being in love. I hadn’t felt it since being with my daughter’s father at the very young age of sixteen. Faking it for all of those years made me quite cynical of love. Even though I knew the odds were against us, I loved him indescribably, so I gave it a real chance. I even told him all about my “employment”. We are now engaged to be married, though it didn’t come without many disagreements and sleepless nights. He felt unworthy of my love because, to him, I was sharing it with another man. Though, the “dating” meant nothing to me compared to the loved we shared, he had a very valid argument.
It’s a heart-wrenching ordeal when you choose to be with another person over the one you’ve committed to- regardless of what that encounter entails. Somehow, it just feels wrong. It does if you’re in love, at least, And, of course, this only applies to those who are monogamous. I am that..
So, my advice is this:
Coming from a seasoned Sugar Baby, please do think long and hard whether this lifestyle and decision is right for you. It’s caused me a lot of hardship with my family and loved ones. In fact, it has ended most of my relationships with them. Truthfully, it has ended almost all of them. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
Remember that the most important thing in life are the ones you love, even if they don’t share the same belief.
I have since decided to end this chapter of my life. I have been working on being more independent- financially and emotionally. It’s not been easy, but I believe it’s for the best for myself and my family. There will always be those who oppose you and your decisions, but they are yours and yours only, to make. Do what you feel is best for yourself and those you love. No one knows better than you what is best for you.
If you decide that sugar dating is a viable option for you, do it. Just know what may be to come of that decision. It very may well be what gets you out of the darkness and brings you back into the light.
It was for me.
Or, it may very well be what ruins you.
It was that for me, too.